I WANT YOU TOO NOTICE WHEN I'M NOT AROUND.

kisslike__kids @ 2006-01-27T08:42:00

2006-01-27T14:35:21Z

i.what's not allowed.

it was our secret place, really.

hidden behind pine trees and the
dark color of the earth, we waited
in silence almost every night. what for,
we never really knew. never anything
stupid and romantic like sunsets or stars or
the big, white moon. you couldn't see much
of the sky anyways. we just went there too sit
and wait and be together, i guess.

he's leaning against his old civic,
smoking a cigarette, probably a little buzzed
already. if i'm disappointed, i'm not
showing it. after all, it doesn't matter.

it's only 8 o clock and from what i can see
the sky is already littered with shining stars.

i wonder if he remembers what i'm doing here,
right this second.

his pale hands are fiddling with eachother
& he's staring forward at nothing,
with that same stare he always has
when he's thinking real hard.

i'm almost proud of the fact that i
know his emotions.
maybe i don't, though.

i'm sitting on the hood of the car,
my feet are resting on the bumper.
i have my own hood up, and i'm wishing
he would look over at me, i'm wishing
i would think of something good too say.

but all i can think of is how cold my
hands are.

i wish he would hold them.
he doesn't do that, though.
he never does that.

we look, but we never touch.

he finally says something, shattering
our silence completely. he has a knack
for doing that. shattering things, breaking
them.

"i wasn't made for this. i really wasn't."

i think 'this' is us. he's never
very elaborate on what he says.
he just assumes i can take his
cryptic bullshit and make a instructional
manual out of it.

i still can't think of anything too say.

he doesn't like going places with our friends.
his friends.
he says they're too loud.
i always think we're too quiet.
maybe i'm not loud enough.

it's quiet again.

the pine trees are moving around with the
fresh, cold air of autumn. it smells like
sharp earth & pine needles.

i look at my hands. they're rough and
white and small and look old. 100 years old.
i wonder when we're going too leave.

"...you know what i mean, right?"

i look up for the first time. his blue eyes
aren't so blue anymore. they look older. he
looks older. 16 going on 60. i look back down
and nod. he was probably just saying more words
that i can't peice together about nothing
i'll ever understand.

we look, but we never touch.

i wonder why we put up with eachother, sometimes.
all the time.
i think he does, too.

he says i'm the only person who understands him,
i'm the only one who listens. when he's not in his
right mind he tells me things like that. i think it's
his stupid way of showing affection.

i wonder if it would kill him too know that i don't
understand him at all. that i don't really listen.

i hear a jingle of keys, signaling that we're going now.
we're done for the night. i get in the car. it's
quiet ride home.

my hands are cold. i'm holding them in my pockets.
i get out his car, and we say goodbye silently.
he never expects a hug or a kiss,
he never expects a brush of hands, even.

he doesn't do that.

we look, but we never touch.

P.Sthat was really long
& i will love you forever if you read
the whole thingggg.
k, i'm done.

kisslike__kids @ 2006-01-25T21:14:00

2006-01-26T02:14:58Z

THINGS TOO DO
1.no more boys
2.no more illegal shit [hahh maybe]
3.no more drama
4.no more fighting
5.no more bullshit
6.get happy in the next 243354 years
7.quit using the lords name in vein. HAHAH kidding.

K I'M OFFICIALLY DONE.
i need too rethink the way i'm living.

by:pratt
where:the abandoned house

PSSSTT i'm in a gang!!

i'm tagging tommorow nightt
i don't know what it's gonna be
or where
but it'll be good
i gotta leave my mark on frederick
=D

kisslike__kids @ 2006-01-24T19:49:00

2006-01-25T00:54:18Z

BeZeRkErNOFX: w/e
BeZeRkErNOFX: all u ever do is whine
BeZeRkErNOFX: and lead me on
BeZeRkErNOFX: cus u think its cute too do that shit too me even tho ive always fucking been there 4 u
BeZeRkErNOFX: fucking oepn ur eyes
BeZeRkErNOFX: and quit being a whore
BeZeRkErNOFX: bcuz its not helping ur image at all

in other news,
i'm moving the 3rd, definately.
& the house has like a garden tub whatever the fuck that is.

blah

greenville is full of scenesters
& thats it.

go jackets.

kisslike__kids @ 2006-01-22T16:05:00

2006-01-22T21:08:59Z

soo like
this weekend has been cool

last night i slept over at shaley'ss

& we went too grant's house too watch Billy Madison. than David came over and tried too kill me playing ping pong and than went into ROID RAGE. [totally kiddingg =D ]. annnnd today we went too erinn's too jump on the trampoline with carolynn, brianna, kyle, kevin & some little kid who i dont remember.

DUDE we found like. these random plastic boobs in the woods on our way too erinns. like just chilling there in their little box, all perfect and stuff. so of course, we had too take them. and screw them up horribly

i need too sleep thoughh, cus i was up all night

pictures later.

kisslike__kids @ 2006-01-19T00:21:00

2006-01-19T05:31:31Z

surfing was superr.

we didn't stay as long as i wanted, though
we left at like 5:00ishh and i slept most of the way over cause i was tired. we got kinda lost-ish driving there 'cause we took a wrong turn. but we made it there without getting kidnapped =D
we got there at like 10:30ish and surfed until 4. annnd I MADE A REALLY BAD ASS SAND CASTLE.

it was kinda cold out but not too bad
the waves were really nice
i love sand bridge beach more than anywhere ever
when i'm older i'm going too live there, right near the beach
in a shack

the drive home was kinda cool. i like driving placesss

i should surf moremoremore
atleast i'll be near lake michigan sortof.

=/

i just made myself sad.